बेअर्स एअत आ मन अत आ बेर Festival

BELGRADE, Serbia-- A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.

They say the man was naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it. Damn Bears.

"There's a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage," zoo director Vuk Bojovic told sources.

द्वार्फ गेट्स पेनिस स्तुक इन वाकुमे Cleaner

A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his dick got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly wrong.
Daniel Blackner, or Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf, was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances.

The main part of his act was for him to appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member with a special apparatus.

The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately let it dry for only 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required.I guess his brain is smaller than normal as well.

He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and ... hospitalisation.

"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me," Blackner said.

"I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short-lived."

फुक्किंग इडोत डेस फ्रॉम रोब्बिंग लिकुओर Store

Idiot Bleeds To Death During Burglary


STERLING, Ill. — A man who attempted to burglarize a liquor store cut his arm on a broken window and died early Thursday, Sterling police announced in a news release.


At 1:28 a.m., Sterling Police received a 911 call about a person who was lying in the street on the 900 block of E. 4th Street.

The man, who has been identified as Tony C. Rupp, 19, of Sterling, had a severe laceration to his left arm.

Rupp was taken to CGH Medical Center, Sterling. He was pronounced dead at 2:15 a.m.

Police said the investigation revealed that Rupp had been involved in a burglary of Broadway Express Liquors, 302 Broadway, and during the process of entering through a broken window severely cut his left arm, what a dick.

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Virtua Fighter 5

Sega's fighting legend takes to the PS3 arena
Using every ounce of the PlayStation 3's graphical muscle, this is the best looking Virtua Fighter yet, with millions of brutal, beautifully-animated attacks, epic battle arenas and lifelike fighters who sweat, wince and grunt as the fierce fisticuffs unfold. But while it all looks great, the game is virtually identical to previous editions on other consoles, and unfortunately holds few surprises for fans of Sega's legendary series.

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Michael Vick don't use no damn pigskin, fool!

Woman Has Pencil Removed From Head

BERLIN, Germany-- A 59-year-old German woman has had most of a pencil removed from inside her head after suffering nearly her whole life with the headaches and nosebleeds it caused, Bild newspaper reported on Monday.

Margret Wegner fell over carrying the pencil in her hand when she was four.

"The pencil went right through my skin -- and disappeared into my head," Wegner told the newspaper.

It narrowly missed vital parts of her brain. At the time no one dared operate, but now technology has improved sufficiently for doctors to be able to remove it.

The majority of the pencil, some 8 cm (3.1 inches) long, was taken out in an operation at a private Berlin clinic, but the 2 cm tip had grown in so firmly that it was impossible to remove.

Man Attacks Girlfriend With PISS & Fists

FLA-- JENSEN BEACH — A 60-year-old Stuart man was arrested and charged with domestic battery after he allegedly urinated on his sleeping girlfriend and her son early Saturday morning.

Wilfred Hart, of the 2100 block of Northwest 20th Avenue, allegedly woke the woman and her 13-year-old son at about 5:45 a.m., called her “dirty trailer trash,” and then forced her out of bed and into the shower because she smelled bad, according to a Martin County Sheriff’s Office report.

Once in the shower, Hart allegedly cornered the woman and punched her in the jaw and in the chest, according to the report.

Hart was booked into the Martin County Jail without bail.

Rapper 50 Cent has accepted a challenge

Rapper 50 Cent has accepted a challenge to face fellow MC Kanye West in a live televised presidential-style debate that would determine whose forthcoming album is the hottest.

Drama has been building between the two lyricists ever since West moved the release date of his Def Jam album “Graduation” from Sept. 18 to Sept. 11, which falls on the date already secured by 50 Cent for his new CD, “Curtis.”


During an appearance Friday on BET’s “106 & Park,” 50 accepted an offer from hosts Terrance J. and Rocsi to participate in a debate with Kanye several weeks before their albums are released. The event aims to determine which album packs the most heat.

"I accept the challenge," 50 Cent said on the show. "Kanye, he's not going to want to show up. Just don't be asking me if I am a conscious rapper. I know exactly what I am saying - so I am conscious."

Should Kanye agree to participate, the rappers would face off on “106 & Park” over which of their albums is better produced. Fans wagering on gaming site Bodog.com are picking 50 Cent to outsell West 180 to 140, and have also bet that “Curtis” will debut at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 album chart, reports Allhiphop.com.

Michael Vick Chew Toy

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The Michael Vick Chew Toy has recently crept on to the market after Michael Vick was indicted in a dog fighting scandal.

Due to this, Michael Vick has been banned from pre season training with the NFL.


Nike, Reebok and other sponsors have stopped selling Michael Vick merchandise due to the dog fighting case.

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DOGS KILL MAN AT VIN RHAMES LA HOME

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Two dogs belonging to actor Ving Rhames apparently mauled a man to death at the star's home Friday, authorities said.
The 40-year-old victim, who has not been identified, had lived on the property and worked as a caretaker at the home for about two years, police said. He was among those responsible for caring for the dogs, said Los Angeles police Officer Sandra Gonzalez. Paramedics pronounced him dead at the scene.

Three bull mastiffs and an English bulldog were seized by animal services, police said.

"Two of those dogs appeared to be responsible for the tragic death," said Officer Jason Lee, adding that "several" dogs remain at the property.

Police were called at about 7:15 a.m. by someone reporting a dead body at the home in Brentwood. Gonzalez didn't know who made the call.


"The victim had a large number of bites and scratches which appear to be dog bites," Lt. Ray Lombardo said during a press conference.

The victim was found on the front lawn, Gonzalez said.

An autopsy was expected to be performed Monday, said Capt. Ed Winter of the coroner's office.

"It's premature to say how he died," Winter said. "We don't know if he was attacked by the dogs and suffered a heart attack."

Rhames, 46, an action star who appeared in the Mission Impossible series, was not home at the time of the attack, Gonzalez said. The actor told Time magazine in 2001 that he had "eight Fila Brasileiro mastiffs — the national dog of Brazil, also used by U.S. Marines in jungle warfare."

Calls to Rhames' agent, Steve Muller, were not returned.

Bizarre Sex Tape

Bizarre Sex Tape Spurs Criminal Investigation

Detective Robert Smith
8/1/2007 6pm report

By Jessica Clark
First Coast News

BRADFORD COUNTY, FL -- A sex tape has launched a criminal investigation.
Fearing that her husband might hurt her, police say a Clay County woman contacted the sheriff's office. First Coast News will refer to the woman as Jane for her protection.

While Clay County officers investigated, Jane gave them a video tape. Its contents shocked detectives. A police report says the video shows Jane and her husband torturing a live frog, two live chameleons, and a live parakeet -- all for sexual gratification.

Detective Robert Smith of the Bradford County Sheriff's Office said, "On three of the animals, they were nailed to a board while they were still alive. Prior to the killing animal, they would poke the animal with different sharp objects."The report says the couple slowly beheaded the animals with large knives.

The report also says "the bird can be heard crying from the pain" as the couple laughed.

Smith said the tape's time stamp indicates dates from late 2006 to early 2007.

Determining the video was shot at the couple's former home in Bradford County, the Bradford County Sheriff's Office stepped in to investigate. It was now a case of animal cruelty.

"I would believe there is more than just the four incidents we have evidence on," Smith said.

Officers found "Jane" at her workplace in Putnam County and arrested her Tuesday. She faces four counts of animal cruelty.

Smith said the couple has children, but they were not home at the times the tape was made.